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"Abnormal BM" aka "Alien Poop"

Written on September 5, 2007 by Kevin.

A while back, we stopped by a garage sale that had some great vintage Disney records. We snatched these up and figured it would be fun to play them with the kids one day. On Labor Day, we figured we would go try and hunt down a record player and some additional Disney records.

Our first stop was the Savers discount store. They had a huge stack of records so the entire family came in. As my wife and I looked through the records, Rylan kept occupied by reading a few books on the shelf nearby. We left with a few new records and made it over to the BigLots store next door. We quickly browsed through and headed back to the car. At that time, my wife noticed that Rylan's fingertips where shaded green.

We examined the coloring which wouldn't come off easily by using a wipe. We didn't notice the green anywhere but on his fingertips. I figured it may have been caused by an old book he was reading and maybe the cover ink was rubbing off. We did what we could to rub it off and let the issue go.

Fast forward now to last night. It was time to take Rylan upstairs and I laid him down for his last diaper change. Lo and Behold, Rylan's poop was a mixture of normal color and then a bright distinct green. I called my wife over and we talked it over for a bit. I finished Rylan up and while I was getting his toothbrush ready, he pooped again. This is abnormal in itself because Rylan normally only has one poop per day but this one was his fourth now. I lay him down once more and open up that diaper. Wow. The entire poop is bright green. Everything appeared normal except for the fact that it was super bright green. What in god's name did he eat?

Now, Rylan throughout the day has shown no signs of cramping or anything else you may think relating to eating something hard or toxic. After a bit of talk, we decided to take him to the ER just so we could rest better at night.

We happened to go to the ER at the right time because we were the only ones in line and we ended up going back in about 25minutes. Amazing in itself. We ended up having 3 doctors check out Rylan's poop. We had brought the diaper for them to see it and they were certainly surprised and baffled by it. Of course they asked us the normal questions on if he ate PlayDoh or anything else abnormal. The only thing we could relate it to was his green fingers from the day before.

They sent us home and told us to keep an eye on him. Seeing as it had already been 24+ hours since he probably ate what caused it, he would have already shown symptoms or had cramping from something stuck in his system.

What was it that he possibly ate? We may never know but we do have some guesses. At Savers they were selling Halloween supplies, maybe there was a Halloween face paint on the bookshelf some kid had left there and we didn't notice it. This would surprise us though because Rylan is very good about taking things out of his mouth that are clearly not food. I can't imagine that stuff would taste good and we didn't notice anything on his face or mouth. He also tried some new cereal yesterday as well, maybe by chance it caused this? It's certainly a mystery.

The ER desk lady that checked us in wrote down that his issue was an "Abnormal BM" which was certainly an understatement. I liked to say that he had a Bio-hazard Butt and my wife liked to call it an Alien Poop. I'm not sure if those would be considered proper medical terms though.

On a lighter note, I have something for you to ponder throughout today. If you were the alien race, how bad would you feel that humans taunt you so badly that we actually make balloons that look like you? Maybe that is why in movies they always come to destroy us. They just can't take us laughing at them any longer.


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